Simply Lily
by flipflop2011
Summary: as of now, it's basically our little Lily falling in love with our ickle james, and not realizing it. subject to change. my first fic, be nice!: )
1. Little Lily

**LILY, age 7.**

"LILY! LILLYYYY! I told you to not play in the flowerbeds anymore! Look what you've done! Managed to pull all my best petunias out!" Lily's mom scolded her as she picked Lily up and began to dust her off.

Lily just laughed, and said, "Mother wait! See what I can do!" She then proceeded to wave her hand over the dirt, and her mother watched in awe as her daughter raised brand new tiny petunia buds. "I only wanted to grow a pink one!" Lily said timidly, not knowing what her mother would do. "Pink's Tunia's favorite! And we didn't have any!" She continued, now entirely fearful at her mother's reaction, seeing as her face had drained of all color.

However, her mother, being the kind, patient and loving woman that she was, did not strike her or cause any harm unto Lily. She instead insisted upon calling Lily's father and sister out into the yard, and although not one of them understood how, they all watched in awe as Lily raised flower after flower after flower.

Lily felt wonderful, she felt loved and accepted by the people she cared for most, and her biggest fear - that her family would reject her, was put onto the back burner of her mind and the happy faces of her mother, father and sister played in her mind as she fell asleep.

And they did. Her family accepted her, her mother never stopped loving her, her father couldn't have been more proud, and her sister thought it was an amazing gift, all up until that fateful day that a tawny barn owl came flopping through their window during the breakfast of Lily's eleventh birthday that everything changed. Her sister Petunia, although she supported Lily at first, realized that things were never going to be the same between them ever again.

Lily was always showing off something new she figured out she could do, always impressing their parents in ways that Petunia never could, and she felt like she couldn't compare. How could one's parents be proud of her top marks when Lily was off figuring out how to make things change colors? How could she compete with a person who could make drawings move? (As she would find out, Lily was a very advanced witch at her age)

The answer was that Petunia couldn't. She couldn't compete, so she stopped trying. She began to be snarly and bitter towards Lily, and when her letter came from said tawny barn owl accepting her into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, that was The End of their Relationship. Lily went off to school, and the rest, well, is her story.


	2. Chapter 1

As I walked past the magnificent scarlet steam engine for the last time, I became overwhelmed with many emotions and memories. I began to remember things, some welcomed, such as the way my mother always used to kiss my forehead before bed, how my father always supported me in every aspect, magical or muggle, and how wonderful my friendship with Sev used to be.

Yet then there were the dark times to remember as well - Tuney rejecting any and all relationship with me, the death of my father, the deterioration of my friendship with the aforementioned "Sev".

"Sev." I mumbled under my breath as I continued on down the platform. Why did I even still think about him? I knew why, I just didn't want to admit it. It was because he was the one who first told me what I am. He had been my best friend, my confidant for so many years. But then he had to go be a git and call me a Mudblood, which was, of course, totally unacceptable. It broke my heart, honestly, but then after _that _happened, I realized he had been slipping away from me for a while.

It's not like I didn't have other friends though, as I saw Alice (who was calmly walking) and Marlene (who was galloping) towards me, and I began to truly smile for the first time in ages. It felt so good to see my two best friends and fellow Gryffindors after a long summer apart!

"LILY dear, it has been WAY TOO LONG since we have spoken," Marlene all but shouted in my face as I was enveloped in one of Marly's famous bear hugs, "I tried that concept "snail-mail" which you so eloquently suggested to keep in touch instead of the usual owl, but when I attached the letter to the snail, he didn't seem to like it too much. And then he didn't move AT ALL for like a month, and I kept WAITING for something to happen, and then I thought if I prodded him a bit with my wand he'd do something, but then he BLEW UP and I had SNAIL GUTS all over me! I blame you for this Lily…it WAS your idea…"

I just couldn't help myself…I burst out laughing right there on the platform (so much so people gave me odd looks), "Marls, didn't you hear me when I explained how to go about it? Marly was a pureblood, and therefore never had to learn about the postal system, and if I remember correctly, when I was explaining how to do it, it was about the same time Sirius effing Black decided to come into the common room and take off his shirt. For no reason. Which he outright stated after taking it off. DON'T even get me started.

Anyway, Marlene has had it bad for Sirius for a while now, so that explains it. I tell her this, and she gives me a guilty look like, "don'tblamemeSiriusishorridlyattractiveandcouldbea greekgod".

"UGH Marls, I know he is attractive and all, all you have to do is look at him, but why did you choose him to like? Why couldn't you pick someone more like Amos, or Stan, or Evan?" I ask her, exasperated.

This is where Alice and all her smarts come into play and ruin my perfectly good question, "Lily, what's wrong with her liking Sirius? Is it because he's a friend of JAMES? (and let it be noted right at this moment she and Marley become giddier than a pair of schoolgirls on their first day of primary) I KNEW IT." Alice whisper screamed – because let's face it, boys aren't the sort of topic you scream about on a crowded train platform.

"YOU LIKE HIM! YOU DO! I SEE IT ON YOUR FACE!" She continued to whisper scream, all the while doing a cute little dance that, I noticed, attracted the attention of a certain Frank Longbottom, another Gryffindor boy in our year along with Sirius and James. He stared for a while until I caught him doing said staring, and he blushed and went back saying his goodbyes.

Alice had her back to him and didn't see (obviously) but Of Course, as I held the title Best Friend, I had to take the heat off me for a second by saying, "OMG You'd never guess who I just caught staring at you…" Aaaand she was off me and who I may or may not like quicker than the time it takes a hungry mouse to devour a block of cheese. My master plan has been completed…commence the evil laughter…mu wa….nope not going to happen.

The fact that they think I could like James anyway is laughable. I mean, James Potter? No. Way. They must have taken the look of malice and contempt on my face as something else, because it was nowhere near attraction to the boy. Ever since I set eyes on him, we didn't like each other. He is arrogant, immature, sloppy, always getting away with things no one else could, he knows he is good looking and therefore uses it to his advantage, so that's where I come in. I am here to pull him off the pedestal he puts himself on, and to remind him that no, he is not the greatest thing since sliced bread, and also that no, in fact, that he is not God's gift to women.

Marley gives me a look like "we're not done here", but I am off the hook for now. Alice shyly peeks at which boys are surrounding our immediate area, she's pretty, she's kind, she's smart, but the one thing she isn't is confident. Boys have asked her on dates in the past, but she's always refused, saying "it wasn't the right time" or "he was all wrong for me", claiming she's waiting for the right person, which I can't blame her for, since who isn't?

"Al, you're too modest for your own good," Marley states matter of factly, "this year," she continues as she slings her arms around us and prods us along to the train, "I proclaim that we are going to kick arse on our exams, win the Quidditch Cup (Marly was a beater on the Gryffindor team), overall have an awesome year with awesome adventures, and on top of that, at least one of us will fall in love and then we can all stay up and cry about it together about what a bitch it is…" She sighs with a dramatic look that makes her look like a constipated loon, "It'll be so fun…" and we all laugh as we board the train to take us to our last year at Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 2

We had been sitting in our usual compartment just catching up for a while when Alice goes, "OMG Lils, aren't you late for your meeting?"

I swear under my breath as I realize I'm late for my first meeting as Head Girl. "Great," I mumble, "My first meeting and I'm late, I've misplaced my badge and I'm not even wearing the right clothes!" I look down at my muggle clothing and decide that, well, it's the best they're going to get. I tell Al and Marlene goodbye, and race down the hallway in what I hope is the right direction.

Honestly, I still can't believe that I made Head Girl. I guess I am top of my class, I was a prefect since fifth year, I tutor younger students, am in numerous clubs, and I get along with mostly every professor and student I meet. Yet still, I can think of countless others who could have been Head Girl, and I can't help but wonder why Dumbledore chose me, it's not like I'm off to a good start being late to my first meeting. I pray that they Head Boy (whoever he is, I wasn't notified) is there and is competent enough to keep everything under control.

All I know right now is that my reputation as being "perfect" (never having detention or even a talking to in class) was going right down the tubes. I also know, for a fact, that everyone one of the Prefects and the Head Boy are going to be shocked that "perfect" Lily Evans isn't on top of her game today. "Oh well," I think to myself, "just have to get through…" And then that's when I burst through the door of the compartment in which the meeting is being held and see all the shocked faces (Told you!) But then I see him. Potter. James. Freaking. Potter.

"Shit." The only word that comes out of my mouth, "Shit," I say again. I can't pull myself together after this bomb the size of the solar system has dropped upon me, I feel as if my life has just gone from, "This year's going to go fine, just fine" to "HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?" I mean, anyone else but him would have been fine, but it had to be him. Dumbledore probably just wanted to make my life hell, because he sure knows how not perfect I am, they're all trying to get back at me for something….maybe it was sneaking into the teacher's lounge and planting those exploding firecrackers? And there he is, just standing smugly there with that smug look on his face in his smug robes with his smug little Head Boy badge gleaming on his chest, smugly looking at me smugly with his –

"Evans. Nice of you to join us, better late than never, eh?" Potter says smugly with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Smug little cockroach. One more time for effect: Smug. SMUG SMUG SMUG. "Feel free to come sit, we just started." He continues, waving his hand towards the empty chair next to him. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping this is all a dream, but much to my avail, when I open them again, he still is sitting there. Smugly.

"Potter, this isn't funny. Give Remus or Frank or whoever's badge that really is back to them so we can really get started here!" I say, hoping to Merlin that this is just all some sick joke.

"No can do, Evans." Potter says, leaning back in his chair. He looks to the prefects, who are all rapidly watching to see where this conversation is headed. He then calmly turns to Remus, "Moony, tell our dear Evans that this is, in fact, my hard earned badge that I shall proudly wear to uphold the reputation of our wonderful Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Remus in turn looks to me, and with a steady voice says, "Lils, I am afraid to tell you that he's telling the truth." With that, Remus, along with the rest of the prefects, dive under the table or any surface in the compartment that could be used as a shield. You see, when Potter and I are in the same room together for too long, things mysteriously tend to get blown up…demolished, wrecked, ruined, well, you get the picture.

Potter has been a thorn in my side since third year, when he relentlessly began to torment me with all kinds of juvenile pranks, from bewitching water balloons to follow me and water-bomb me every time I raised my wand to try to fix it, to raiding my dormitory (I still don't know how he got past the booby-trap) and stealing my stuff to asking me out what it seems ten billion times a day.

I know he just does it to annoy me, asking me out, because he can get any girl he wants, but he chooses to ask me, the only one he can't get. Too bad for him though, because I can't stand the sight of him. There's something about him that just makes me want to stick a spoon in my eye until I've turned it to soup…he's just that awful. He's pretentious, arrogant, self righteous, immature….I could go on, but I realize that I'm still standing the compartment with my mouth hanging wide open, eyes glazed over and unmoving.

Oh, and everyone is still hiding, so I shut my mouth, blink a thousand times, and manage to walk over to the seat next to _him _and sit down. "You can all come out now," I say to the cowering prefects, "nothing is going to blow up this time…" I can tell they're all remembering the disastrous confrontation in the Great Hall when I _accidentally _managed to blow up a few statues. No one was hurt, and the statues were easily repaired, but people noticed, boy did they notice. Potter caught me up on what they were going over before I barged through the door, and the rest of the meeting went by without any incidents.

Only if you don't count me wanting to do a dive roll of the train to the nearest bus stop and go home and crawl under my blankets and not ever wanting to come out an incident.

Because that idea sounded pretty dang good right then.


	4. Chapter 3

"I still am trying my hardest to wrap my head around the fact that Potter is Head Boy…" I say to Alice and Marly while chowing down on the welcome feast in the Great Hall that night. "It doesn't make any sense," I continue, as my two best friends look at each other exasperatedly.

"And he doesn't even qualify, he is WAY to arrogant, too immature, too proud, to vain blah blah blah" Marly exclaims with a "I'm going to stuff this fried chicken up your nose if you don't stop repeating yourself" kind of look on her face, "We've heard it. Ever since you came back from the meeting in such a daze we thought something horrible happened."

"Something horrible DID happen!" I tried to say convincingly, but not to well I guess, because Alice interrupted me quick, "Lil, are you sure this is a bad thing? You being Head Girl to his Head Boy? Because once you get to know him, you –"

"STOP right there," I quickly interject while some pudding slid of my spoon as I missed my mouth. "If you are going to end that sentence with "you might actually end up liking him" I am going to throw up. Literally throw up."

She just gives me a look, says "you never know what you're missing out on" and gets up to go sit catch up with Frank, who looks a combination of ever so pleased and awestruck to be actually talking to her. She, however, doesn't seem to notice this little fact, so I nudge Marlene, point it out, and whisper to her, "we are SO going to have to clue her in on this one sooner or later…or poor Frank is going to go bonkers while she slowly pieces it together!" Marly laughs and agrees, "later in the dorms, ok?" She also rises, and tells me she's off to talk to Sirius about Quidditch. Riiiiiight. Quidditch. More like she's off to flirt with the biggest flirt in the school.

So here I am, sitting by myself with my thoughts. Be friends with Potter? That just sounds like a catastrophe waiting to happen. I can't even remember when the last time was that we even had a conversation that didn't consist of us bickering the whole time. Or that last time he didn't try to feel me up at the Winter Formal. Or the last time that I didn't hex him into oblivion because of said feeling up. Or the last time he didn't try to show me up in class, or the last time he didn't try to ask me to go out with him.

I can't possibly be friends with someone who charmed bubble gum to stay stuck in my hair, or who pelted me with snowballs relentlessly while walking with my friends along the lake, along with countless other embarrassing things over the years (I still shudder when I think of the time…wait, I shudder at everything he's done, never mind). Do people like that actually change? Is it possible?

Even if it is, there's no way that I can trust him, with all the pranks he's pulled on me over the years, trusting Potter is not an option. I'll just end up getting hurt again, and then I'll be an idiot for thinking he could be a genuinely nice person. But since he's Head Boy, I am going to have to talk to him eventually, I did just kind of run out on him after that first meeting, even though he did call my name as I barreled out the door when it was over.

I know what I'll do. I'll just be professional. No statues need to get blown up, no hexes need to be put upon him, no bickering needs to be done, I'll be all business, all the time when it needs be. When it comes to Potter, it'll be like I have a stone wall guarding my heart. With an army in front of it. And fireballs, with birds of prey that are ravenous for meat. In other words, I'll never be friends with him, no matter what happens or however hard he tries, Potter will forever be just that, Potter. Nothing more, and nothing less.


	5. Chapter 4

**_JAMES_**

"What do you think she's thinking about over there?" I whisper to my friends while I keep an eye on Lily, sitting by herself because Marlene and Sirius were quietly discussing Quidditch (I was surprised, as Sirius usually only shows off and is a loud flirting machine around pretty girls such as Marlene, she must be special), and Alice was sitting next to Frank, who was sitting next to me, and she also happened to overhear me. She lets out a great big sigh, and begins "James, since I am your friend as much as I am Lily's, I want to be the first to say what a complete _arse_ you've been about her."

Frank looks at her somewhat astonished, but then I see him look at her proudly and admirably. I wonder if there's something going on there…I'd have to grill Frank later, the Great Hall is no place for _that _kind of conversation. Alice goes on, "You can't just expect her to be friends with you can you? I bet she's over there right now deciding you can't be trusted, and that she'll only speak to you need be about Head Duties, and then avoid you at all other costs. And you can't blame her, can you? It was you that tormented her since third year, asking her out, charming those pixies to follow her and throw things at her, making her trip and fall and make that giant mess in here that one year that got food stuck in the enchanted ceiling, and putting that charm on her hair that made it change colors every time she said the word "homework" which was a LOT, mind you!"

My mind is going haywire at her words, yet I know she tells the truth. I am an arse. "You are such an arse, man," Sirius says to me, somehow reading my mind, to the others he goes, "you'd think he'd have more sense, the way he prattles on about her, day in and day out –"

"Oh don't EVEN go there mate – half those pranks were your idea and you were JUST as excited to do them as I was." I heatedly add. Sirius grins abashedly, "That is true mate, true as the sky is blue. Still not the one in love with her and stuff, so I think that makes somewhat of a difference."

I shoot him a look, and Marlene scoffs, "James, if you thought none of us knew, you might want to rethink the past four years…I mean, it's kind of obvious, isn't it, right Al?"

Alice lets out a laugh, "Plain as day, James, it's plain as day…well, to mostly everyone who somewhat knows you, but Lily has no idea whatsoever. She just thinks you are there to hate her and make her life miserable."

Now my personal pity party just went to a whole new level – hate Lily? There was no way. I could never _hate _Lily Evans. Man, I wish I could go back to my third year self, shake him a little bit (ok, a TON) and tell him what doing all those pranks would end up doing to myself, and to Lily. Back then, all I wanted was any little bit of attention I could get from her. A smile here, a laugh there, but my young self didn't take her feelings into consideration. At all. Which really sucks for Older James. Boy, he sure does have a lot of work to do if he wants things to be righted with her.

One thing young James did for me though was make me realize how special Lily Evans was. I mean, we had known each other since we began school in the same year, same house. Yet it wasn't until one day in third year when I saw her eating her breakfast in the Great Hall, just like always, but it wasn't like always for me. I think my heart almost had an attack; it was like a ton of bricks fell from the sky and hit me straight on. I came that close to falling over in shock. I thought she was beautiful, the most gorgeous girl in school, and therefore, I had to have her.

I (obviously) didn't know how to handle my little crush, but before long, it had turned into something else, something more. Over the course of time in which can be labeled my "James was a Huge Prat" Phase, I learned that Lily was not only gorgeous, but she is intelligent, she is kind, dedicated, clever, funny, generous, hardworking, honest, and her spirit and temper are as fiery as her gorgeous red hair. I admit that I am in love with Lily Evans, and am completely hopeless at how to handle it.

"So…what should I do?" I ask them, not sure of what they're going to say. Remus, who has been quiet taking this whole conversation in, finally breaks his silence, "James, I think that we can all say that you have certainly changed these past two years," Remus looks to the others who nod in agreement, "I mean, you haven't exactly been up to your old tricks. You've matured. You're Head Boy. You haven't charmed a toilet to spray the user since the end of fifth year – in other words –"

"YOU'RE A BIG BOY NOW!" Sirius buts in with a devilish look on his face as he changes my fork into a rattle and my juice into a bottle. We all laugh, and I manage to get out, "that was good, my friend, but still not your best work." He just winks at me and says I'll have to wait for the best part, which, if I'm not going to lie, instills a tiny bit of fear into me.

Marlene clears her throat, still trying not to laugh, "Anywayyy, what I think what Remus was trying to say before _that _happened was that we all know you've changed, James, but Lily doesn't. She still thinks that you're going to curse her when her back is turned, that you'll put her through even more embarrassment than anything you've ever done before. You've put her through so much that she didn't even realize you were defending her that one time in sixth year when Severus called her a _that word_…what you need to do, James, is show her that you've changed. If you get her to see the new and improved you that doesn't have to show her or anyone up, who isn't pompous or arrogant, if you just show her the person you are now, the mature, wonderful you, you never know what might happen."

I think about this plan, all the possibilities that could come from it, and I once again feel hopeful that Lily and I could one day be friends, after all, we are Head Boy and Girl, we will be spending copious amounts of time together…plenty of time to get her to realize I'm no longer that little boy who will do anything for her attention, but a man who is dependable, trusting, and just the type of person she can be friends with.

It wasn't until later, until after we had all left the feast exhausted and stuffed with Hogwarts finest, that I realized what the "best part" of Sirius's prank was – turns out, the prat had managed to turn my boxers into a James sized diaper. The kind I couldn't remove as of yet. Yep, i think to myself with a wry grin on my face - I was wearing a diaper the majority of the night, and will be for a while.

So obviously, I have to avenge this situation. In my revenge, I look to where Sirius is already flat out zonked and snoring in his bed, and I decorate his nails with a bright pink polish, and his hair with pretty bows and ribbons. Mind you, I made it so he can't see them, but, oh yes, the rest of the school certainly can.

Revenge sure is sweet…


	6. Chapter 5

**_LILY_**

I felt better now that I had my plan all set – ignore Potter at all times unless it's completely necessary that I talk to him, which, if I could help it, won't be often. Only at meetings I would have to, but those are only every other week, so I should be able to handle that. Other than that – zilch. Nada. Nothing. Maybe this year he'll get the point that I despise him with EVERY INCH OF MY SOUL (finally!)

So, my plan being what it is, it was a very unpleasant and annoying surprise when Potter sidled up to me while I was walking alone to Transfiguration. Marlene and Alice opted to not take the class, otherwise we would be doing our normal before class gossip session on who has changed the most over the summer vacation (Eileen Gibbs, looks like she lost a few pounds, and now the poor wonderfully sweet girl can't fend of the fellows, can't say if it's a good or bad thing for her), and who has broke up, made up, or who is still wholly available (which is the usual people, Sirius made AND broke up with like a million different girls, he being responsible for half the dating pool in this castle…)

Anywayyy…Potter. Of course he managed to find me, I swear he has this magnet in him that just tells him wherever I am whenever I am so he can come find and annoy me to death and back. And then to death again. Just to be clear on how horrid he is. As I prepare myself for the normal onslaught of teasing and some sleazy phrase that is half innuendo and half a pick up line and one hundred percent awful (but of course he thinks they are totally suave), last year first day it was, "Hey Lily – you should feel lucky! Out of all the girls here, I picked YOU to talk to! Just wanted to let you know that I was up in my dormitory earlier, and happened to misplace my bed…sooo…can I sleep in yours?" Needless to say, it made me feel like a ton of centipedes and any other insect with a million legs were crawling all over me. So just when he starts to say something, I stop, face him, and take a deep breath.

"Potter, I am in no mood to play your games right now! I am sick and tired of having to deal with your shit and of just having you around in general! All I want is to have this last year here without having to hide from you in fear of getting trampled on by you and your gang of hooligans. So LEAVE. ME. ALONE." I practically scream in his face, but then his soft reply stuns me.

"Lily, I was only going to ask how your summer was. And then I was going to apologize for being a huge arse for the last few years. I'm sorry. I had no idea how my actions affected you and your life, and it was unfair of me to do the things I did." He says this calmly, with no hint of sarcasm or twinkle of mischievousness in his hazel eyes, flecked with little pieces of gold.

"Last few years? LAST FEW YEARS?" I bite back at him, "try SINCE THE FIRST MOMENT WE MET. I can't believe you think that apologizing now will heal the damage and hurt that you've caused me, or think that it will change anything between us. You and I can never be friends – how could I ever trust someone like you?" With that, I storm into the Transfiguration classroom, blinking away the tears and leaving a bewildered and seemingly sad Potter behind me.

Tears? Where did those come from? Lily Evans does not cry. Lily Evans laughs in the face of crying, and only reserves her tears for those who deserve it, such as her father, the sweet and loving man who didn't deserve to die when he did.

I began to remember the day he died. We always used to get up early each Friday morning, before my mom or Petunia woke, and we would go ride our bikes to the local "old fashioned" ice cream parlor, and we would have our favorite ice cream for breakfast. It was our thing, and he always would tell me to not tell mom – it was our secret. I'm sure she knew though, her being my mom, because she would always make something light to eat for breakfast on Fridays – something Petunia always complained about. But one Friday near the end of summer after third year, when we were riding our bikes across an intersection toward the shop, my father was fatally hit by a motorist who had run the red light. The driver sped off, leaving me to watch as my father died in front of me.

There was nothing I could do – and it killed me. I had to go back to school the next week, everyone thought it'd be good for me to get some space – but how does one get space from a thing such as that? It still hurts to this day thinking about him. And of course, Potter made it no better when he transfigured a lamppost into a bicycle and made it crash into my desk during a Transfiguration lesson beginning of fourth year. Needless to say, I hexed him with everything I had, but that was the one time he didn't fight back because of the tears I had gushing down my face.

So no, I'd like to think I don't cry for anyone who doesn't deserve it. So I was confused as to why I was almost crying because of him – it has to be because I just am so frustrated with him and his nonsense, there is no other possible reason. What I need is a Potter-Outlet, something that I can do that will relieve me of my frustration…hmm…I'll have to think of something…but now, to face the trials and tribulations of what we know as Transfiguration…


	7. Chapter 6

I was still stewing that night in the common room about how Potter actually thought we could be friends – and I guess Marlene and Alice could tell because of the tempestuous look on my face.

"Gee Lil, look any happier and you'll have rainbows dripping out of your ears" Marley quipped while going over her Muggle Studies homework, "also, what exactly is the function of a skyssors?"

I finally crack a smile, seeing as she butchered the pronunciation of the word.

"Do you mean SCIssors?" I snicker, and she throws a pillow at my head.

"Yes maybe I did!" Marls says dramatically, "But what in Merlin do they do? They are the last thing I need to define and for the life of me I cannot find the definition in ANY of these books!" I look at Al and give her a knowing grin, as we both know that Marly's just being melodramatic, and is tired of doing her homework.

"It's simple," I begin to explain, "It's what muggles use to cut things…such as paper or cloth or their hair…"

"Sounds fascinating," Marley says with a look on her face that told us it definitely wasn't, "well, Lils, thanks for the help…I'm done for now…why don't you tell us what's bothering you so bad?"

"Yah, Lil – it'll help to get it off your chest, and you can't even deny that something's wrong, because we know you too well for that nonsense!" Alice chimes in; ever ready to help a friend.

So I fill them in on what had happened that morning in the hallway between Potter and I, to the exact detail. I still can't believe there was no attempt to get me to go on a date with him, or no sleazy joke, or any shenanigans at all. I just don't know how I feel about it.

"Wow, when'd you realize his eyes are hazel and they have gold flecks in them?" Marley asks teasingly when I'm done with my saga.

"What?" I ask, not remembering saying anything about the color of his eyes, "did I really say that?"

"Uhhh yah Lil, yeah you did," Alice says, "didn't know you cared so much about the little details…"

"Pshh I didn't either…guess it's just part of the story," I tell them, playing it off to be no big deal. And it wasn't, really. It's not a big deal that sometimes I can see the expression on Potter's face perfectly in my mind – a little bit of shock mixed with sadness and hurt, I've never seen him like that. He's always had a "devil may care" look, a look of mischievousness and fire that would light up his entire face. Quite honestly, it suited him, him being who he is.

Alice, being who _she _is (and that is inquisitive and honest), then asked what kind of plan I had in motion to avoid him at all costs. Gosh and golly gee, she knows me all too well…

"It's just that, with you both being Heads and all, you would think that you would at least want to be somewhat friends with him, you know, to run things as smoothly as can be." She looks to Marlene, almost as if she's asking her to back her up on this.

"It's true, Lily." Marlene says, all trace of theatrics gone, "You're going to have to give him _something_ to make this year bearable on the both of you. And Merlin knows, to the Prefects, to the whole school, even. And that most likely includes you looking at his _hazel colored eyes_ without vomiting." She says this last part with a smile on her face, teasing me.

I give her a death glare, and then admit my plan, "It's true, pals, I do have a plan. And yes, it is to avoid him. I can't even begin to imagine us as friends – ever. There's too much he's done, and there's no way he can fix it, unless he's become the "poster boy of goodness!"" I say this sarcastically as Alice and Marley give each other a look like they know they're losing this battle.

"Well Lily, I hope you thought your brilliant plan through," Alice says, patting my knee as she stands up, "I'm off to bed – have all my hard classes tomorrow and need to look awake for them!"

"More like "look good for Frank because he happens to be in all the same classes as I am"" Marley snorts, semi-loudly.

Alice rushes back to where we were sitting; shushing us on the way, "Quiet! He's right over there!" She points across the common room, to a spot so far away that there was no way at all he could have heard, "So fine! What if I do have feelings for him?" She says as she comes back to us once more, "What are _you _gonna do about it?"

"We would say "We totally knew it" and "It's about bloody time!" I say with a grin on my face as I high five Marley on the other red wingback chair. Alice blushes, a small smile on her face.

"Guys, I'm serious about this – if you do ANYTHING to mess this up between us, I WILL kill you both and make it look like an accident. I really do think this could be it for me." This smile is now fully spread across her face, and I'd say she's never looked happier.

Marlene looks at her with an astonished expression on her face, "But Al! You've only dated less than a handful of people in your lifetime! And those were people only from this bloody castle! There's a whole pond of people waiting out there for you to break their hearts, how can you possibly know that Frank is the person who's right for you?" You can tell Marley is worried because she is beginning to shred the corner of the nearest parchment to her, which happens to be my Charms homework.

I gently tug it away from her as Alice tells us how she feels when she's around Frank (like she is the most special and lucky person in the world), how he makes her so incredibly happy, how he makes her laugh at the most insane things, how he not only listens to her when she needs him, but offers advice and support as well, how everyday she learns something new about him that makes her like him even more, how he always is surprising her, how she misses him when he's not there, how he makes time to spend with just her, and all these other wonderful things that makes me wish that there was someone out there, someone who'll make me feel like she does.

"Wow Al, we didn't know you felt that way about him! We thought it was only a little crush!" Marley says after Alice is done spilling her guts to us, "We were _supposed _to talk to you about it after the welcome feast, but _someone _was already sleeping when we got back…" She looks straight at me, with a playfully accusing look in her eyes.

"Hey! Hey now! Don't go blaming me! It's not my fault that you guys took so bloody long getting back after the welcome feast! A girl can only wait so long before conking out after a long day!" I defend myself lightheartedly, to Al I say; "If you ever need to talk to us about ANYTHING, don't be afraid! You know that we're here for you anytime you need us!"

She nods, and we all trudge up to our dormitory, being way past the time we should have been sleeping.


	8. Chapter 7

Before I knew it, it was one of those times that I absolutely couldn't avoid speaking to Potter; it was time for our meeting to schedule the Prefects for duty rounds. Rounds always began the second week of school (the first week is always kind of a haphazard mess while everyone is trying to settle in), so it was time to sit with Potter in agony until the schedule was hacked out. We had decided to meet in one of the study rooms in the library, so when the clock ticked six-fifty-eight and thirty seven seconds, I begrudgingly began to shuffle to the library after Alice poked me and reminded me I had to be at least respectful, if not to Potter, to the school, and that it takes more than a minute and a half to get to the library.

It was like the walk of death. With every fall of my footsteps, I could hear the doom and gloom I was headed to. Yes, I don't care what anyone says, being with Potter is that bad for me. After a while, I was lulled into a false sense of security, (being the only one in the hallway for once was peaceful) and as I absentmindedly walked towards my despair, I –

"Hey Lily." Said a very surprised looking Potter after I jumped a foot in the air, screamed, and hit him where it hurts. For THAT (and everything else) he deserved it.

"I take it you've had a good day?" He continues, laying on the stone floor in the fetal position with such a pained expression on his face that I almost (_almost) _feel a little pity for him.

"Potter! What in the devil do you think you're doing?" I screech, "You scared me half to death!" He's still lying on the floor, so I feel I should at least be a decent human being and ask if he's all right. "Are you…..ok?" I manage to awkwardly choke out, as he struggles to his feet.

"Gee, Lily, any more sincerity and we'd have to call the Aurors on you," Potter says taking a deep breath, "I was headed to meet YOU at the library when I saw you and decided to walk with you since, obviously, we're going to the same place." With that, the sarcastic twinkle is back in those eyes, and then I know he's all right.

Then I realize I don't care that he's all right, and briskly set a pace to get to our destination, leaving Potter no choice but to follow.

He did (sigh), and there was no other choice but to get down to business and figure out the schedule. I was nothing but professional, and he was nothing but a prat.

"Potter, you can't have Diggory and Mulciber patrolling together Tuesdays at eight!" I cry exasperatedly, "I've told you! They hate each other and Diggory has Quidditch that time anyway!" I swear, the boy can't listen worth a new broomstick.

"Well then we can't put Meadowes and Meyers together because last week, they had a tiff over finding out they were DATING THE SAME BOY." His voice is rising, and I can tell his patience is thinning.

"That BOY was SIRIUS. And as a "friend" you should probably give him some BETTER ADVICE." I raise my voice in return, slightly judgingly, and he suddenly gets gravely silent.

"Don't EVER underestimate what I would do for a friend. I would do anything for them, but too bad you'll never know because YOU'RE NOT ONE OF MINE." Potter sits back down, after realizing that he half stood up during his little outburst, and quickly changes the subject back to scheduling.

I go with it, not knowing how to feel. I know we're not friends – how could expect me to be his friend? But somehow I still feel a little hurt, and a little ashamed. I push those feelings aside, we still have to figure out who will be on duty Tuesday nights.

"But then there's no one else if we can't put Mulciber and Diggory down!" He shoots back heatedly. "No one…but us…" He says slowly realizes, looking at me to gauge my reaction. Which is to begin banging my head slowly and painfully on the table. But yet I know there isn't any other answer, because we've gone over every other possibility too many times to count, and none worked. I guess we both had forgotten to schedule ourselves in, and seeing as everything else was perfect, there was no chance of changing it so I could patrol with anyone other than Potter.

"Come on Lily, you know this is the only option – I even promise to let you hex me if I'm being a prat and I won't even complain about it!" Potter is pleading with me, something that never happens. I suddenly look at him, I mean, really _look_ at him, and I see that he looks like he's ready to drop dead any second. For the second time that night, I _almost _feel bad for him.

"Alright, fine." I find myself saying. "We can pretend to be a united front for the school. Why are you so tired anyway? Too many late nights pranking with Sirius and the gang?" I don't really know why I ask that last part, it just sort of slips out of my mouth, I don't usually tend to care why my arch nemesis is tired. But apparently, it hits a chord with Potter, and he goes off on me a little bit.

"Believe it or not Lily," He snaps at me, "I've been overworking myself studying for school, having Quidditch tryouts and practice, keeping toerag third years in line, worrying about my parents in this godforsaken war, trying to work with such a conceited HEAD GIRL, and tutoring first and second year students who need help with their homework. So I'm so sorry that I haven't found time to prank anyone lately. Talk to Sirius, he's bummed too." He ends his little tirade with, "and why can't we just be _united_, not _pretend_ to be united?" With that, he stalks off, and I look after him, wide eyed and mouth dropped to the floor, my stomach tense with something other than anger, what I usually find when Potter speaks to me. Ok, there was a little anger, who does he think he is, calling _me_ conceited?

I decide that I can't let that be the end of our conversation/argument/whatever it was, and I rush down the hall after him, deciding that it's high time that we settle things between us.


	9. Chapter 8

I follow Potter, shoes clicking angrily against the stone of the castle flooring, and don't stop until I catch up to him. He happened to be entering the Quidditch Pitch the exact moment I got close enough to reach out, grab his shoulder and flip him around to face me.

"Who do you think you are to call me conceited?" I all but yell in his face, my hands in fists at my sides.

"Who do you think YOU are to judge me for who I was – and not see me for who I am now?" Potter retorts angrily, the most fearsome expression on his face. I've seen him mad, but this was a stop past mad, more like two stops and a spoiled teatime past mad.

He then turns and storms into the pitch, going into the locker room to grab a broomstick. I see him fly out the other side, going up, farther and farther, until he is almost gone.

"He must be crazy if he thinks that's it…" I mutter under my breath as I stomp into the locker room myself to grab a broom. When I'm about to zoom up there after him, I see the chest where they keep the Quidditch equipment out of the corner of my eye, and I have all of a sudden have a brilliantly grand way to get out all my aggression and anger at that _boy. _I grab a beater's club, and enjoyably manage to release a bludger from its cell. It zooms up into the air, and aims itself at me before I give it a great WHACK and send it pummeling after that prat. I follow it myself, armed and ready as if I'm going into battle, which, who knows, I might be.

All of a sudden, Potter is right in front of me, his left arm cradled at his side. "LILY WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" He furiously yells across the five-foot gap between us, "YOU CAN'T JUST SEND A BLOODY BLUDGER AFTER SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A BEATER ON THEM!"

"I can do whatever the BLOODY HELL I want!" I shout back at him, "just watch me!" And with that, I whip out my wand and begin conjuring a combination of little snitches and golf balls, pelting each one at _him_ with all I've got. He must've not had his wand, for he isn't defending himself, he was just dodging the balls as they kept coming.

"LILY! Lily! For heavens sake, won't you just _talk _to me?" His anger appeared to have dissipated, and he had produced his wand from Merlin knows where, and cast a shield between himself and my barrage of tiny sports equipment.

"Talk? You want to TALK, Potter? FINE" I yell bitterly at him, "Let's TALK. Remember the time you tripped me in Potions and my arm slipped into the cure for boils we were making, except it wasn't quite done yet and my arm had BOILS ON IT for WEEKS? Remember that one time when you and your friends had sneaked into my room, stole all of my underwear, AND PUT IT ON DISPLAY FOR THE ENITRE SCHOOL?" With each memory I yelled at him, the things that came out of my wand got bigger, heavier and more determined to get through the shield and smash Potter, who didn't look like he was holding up too well.

"Remember the time that you enchanted that poor sprite to follow me around and sing that HORRIBLE INSULTING SONG to me FOR A WEEK? DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THESE THINGS DID TO ME AND MY ESTEEM? Al and Marly had to BE MY THERAPISTS for all the EMBARRASSMENT you put me through you giant PRAT. Wait – do you remember "accidentally" pushing me into the LAKE when I was sitting out there ALONE CRYING after my FATHER DIED?" With that, I couldn't handle it anymore and burst into tears. I sank down onto the ground, exhausted from producing those missiles and crumpled into a heap, bawling my eyes out.

I just sat there and cried and cried, not knowing what I was even crying for. Partly for my missing my father, partly for my rage at Potter, partly for the guilt and gratitude I felt for Alice and Marlene for putting up with said rage all the time. After a while, I suddenly felt warm, like someone had put a heated blanket over me. Through my tears, I saw Potter step away after casting a charm that makes the bearer feel like he or she is wearing the warmest item they could imagine, with a look on his face like none I had ever seen before. He looked miserable, he looked broken. He looked like he was punched in his face (repeatedly, and that part was true, a few of my softball sized snitches had gotten through his shield), and he looked like he could never be happy ever again.

"Lily, I…I don't know what to say." He took a ragged breath and sat down next to me. "If I knew what I was doing to you, I never would have done it. I was stupid, all I wanted was attention from the pretty girl who wouldn't give me the time of day" He half smiled, and chuckled to himself "to think he'd end up here with a possible broken arm and several fractured ribs because of that girl…" He then proceeded to lie on his back next to me, struggling in pain as he went down.

"I want to tell you that I sincerely apologize for everything that I have done to you, Lily, I want you to know that if I could take it back and start all over and be your friend, I would. And from this day forward, I promise to never do anything to hurt you again." He says looking like he'd rather die than break this promise, and there is a fire in his eyes that tell me he's telling the truth.

I still am sniffling, but I manage to croak out, "But why, though? Why me? You could have any girl in the school, but you chose ME to torment and terrorize. What made me so different than any other, more willing girl in school?" I look at him through my red puffy eyes, and see that he is struggling to find his answer.

"Oh, Lils, don't you see how special you are? I didn't _want_ any of those other, boring, non-interesting girls. I wanted _you_, Lily. You, who is so incredibly talented, I mean, _look_ at me, Lily, I put up the strongest shield I could, yet you still managed to smash through it with things that you _conjured out of the air._ Not everyone can do that – it's simply amazing. Aside from that, you're painstakingly honest, you're patient, and you're loyal to your friends. You're incredibly strong for not blasting me to pieces when I made you fall into the lake that time – I'm so sorry to hear about your father, I had absolutely no idea" He says this with such sadness and remorse in his voice that I want to start crying all over again, and he reaches over with his good arm and consolingly takes my hand, and yet still, he goes on, "You have the best, most kind spirit, and you are so brave to be here in this troubled time. Your kindness and ability to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable only makes you more amazing, and your fiery temper just adds to the simply stunning person that you are. Need I say more?" He timidly smiles at me, and I just stare back at him, aghast at his words, at the truthfulness I see in his eyes, and suddenly, I can't take it.

This isn't the Potter I know, this is someone else. The Potter I know doesn't feel anything more than minor annoyance towards me and only picks on me because I won't give in to him. He doesn't think all these _things _about me; he just hates me because he can. I succeed to stumble to my feet, awkwardly tripping over myself as I slowly turn and mumble something about how I can't, just can't right now, before I more or less sprint as far away from him as I possibly can.

What the devil just happened?


End file.
